Stephen Wiltshire

This is a guy who can draw the skyline of Tokyo with just a glance of 30 minutes (Maybe you won't use "a glance" for 30 minutes).

I should have said, "wow, this is amazing" and stop the topic.

But no. You know I have something (that is unbearable to people) to come out with.

And no, I didn't directed my mind. It just somehow went by itself when I was busy practising English horn.

Before I start, you should watch the video first:



From Wikipedia:
Stephen Wiltshire MBE, (born April 24, 1974) is an architectural artist who has been diagnosed with autism. Wiltshire was born in London, England, to West Indian parents.

And you know my English is bad, so I searched for autism:
Autism is a brain development disorder that impairs social interaction and communication, and causes restricted and repetitive behavior, all starting before a child is three years old. This set of signs distinguishes autism from milder autism spectrum disorders (ASD) such as Asperger syndrome.

So, he is already not an ordinary guy like anyone else.

If you are not ready to something unscientific, you should stop here. Say, "wow, this is amazing" and stop reading.

I actually have an image when I was watching the video. An image that showed "I" was watching the video. Is that sounds simple enough? OK, take it this way: I watch the video, and in the same time I am watching another me watching the video. With same background: in CFA, with Jocelyn in front of me. I am not kidding, this is the last chance for you to leave if you think I am going into another madness.

This has lead me to think another angle about the video. How if the guy in the video actually drew it before and this is just a redraw for him? And by this "before", I don't mean like years before. Maybe it's another dimension that happened before, maybe it's some universe before. In this sense, it explained why the guy will be able to make it so affordlessly. Of course I don't mean this must be the reason. I think this just came into my mind because I really "saw" myself watching it when I am definitely confirm that it just isn't possible.

I think many (if not all) people have this kind of strange thoughts that the world may be just another mirror image of yet another world (as I remember vaguely, that many told me years ago). People grown up by others teaching that this is not scientific, so they forgot about it. As you already know, I don't take people's teaching easily, so that's just stuck in my mind.

Just a few days ago, there was this incident that the frame of the "exit" box in CFA dropping down, and Daniel was just sitting below it. By the first sentence I said, "Daniel, watch up", I knew I saw this scene even few days ago in my dream. Dreams that I cannot even remember after wake up happen a lot, but this is the first time that it is just so near the real incident. It's so near that, I already knew what I am going to say in the dream.

And when the real incident was happening, it was just so weird. I knew what I am going to say one second after that, and without any thought the words came out of my mouth, and I cannot even control it. The feeling wasn't terrifying (even though I am in a dreamy state that I cannot control myself), neither did it make me shock happy. I was just so stunned, that I wasn't me at that moment.

I didn't tell anyone about it after that, because my mind was already set back to the studies. If not this video, I think this will just be left in my memories forever. This kind of reliving scene happens frequently for me, but this is the first I really know what is happening next, not like before, I can only accept the fact that I saw them in the dreams after the scenes were finish.

That's why I link the guy in the video to the same situation of me. It's just so much coincident. Why in my 20 years, first time I can really see the future with myself following the future, is just a few days before I see this video? Why did I see myself watching this video when I am watching this video? This is just simply beyond what I have learned in science. Like the guy in the video, I don't think science can explain why he can remember so many details in so short a time, and keep that in mind for so many days throughout his drawing.

Then back to my first thought. Is we really living back what we have lived for another dimension or universe? I don't think anyone will know. If you are going to say, "Of course not, that is totally not possible!" Then I will say you are hopeless, just like myself. Yes, we all are so pity, living in a world that we don't understand. But I think I am more hopeless and pity, because I know I don't understand the world, while you live happily without knowing that you don't know you don't understand the world. It isn't always nice to know the truth.

Just like the experience, knowing what is going to happen, and it really happens, you can do nothing but see yourself react to what you know is going to happen, isn't a good thing. Did you read novel, when the character knows that he is going to die, can you imagine the pain he is feeling? I really cannot imagine, because even a neutral incident like this, I am already feeling pain. Not in terms of physically or mentally, but the fact that knowing I cannot control the fate of myself is already very painful.

Think about what has been happening with me, I think I am a toy of the fate. I always cannot understand where my thoughts popped out, even like in this incident. No, they just came out by themselves as long as they are happy. I am really sick of them now.

But seriously think about it, "if" (I am emphasizing) my thoughts and actions are all control by what had already happened, I only realise half of the time, that my mind is altered by something else. For the others, they never think of whether their mind is altered by fate. Is it just me that is a slave of fate, or that I am the only slave that know I am?

And you know what? I have been believing seriously in fate. This incident will only make me from believing fate to more believing in fate. Of course you don't have to. Because you never have to go through the things that I have gone through. If fate says you have to live happily without thinking in fate, then you will.

Did you watch Hero? Remember the guy that can draw future? Stephen Wiltshire can draw what he saw. Maybe he was drawing a past, a past that is a universe ago. Maybe the guy in Hero is also drawing the past, just that his past is a bit future ahead of him.

I shall end this with my own quote: "Learn to dream about the past, which is the future." But, think twice, because that is not really something interesting. Really, just believe me.

Side notes: I can feel that "something" is preventing me from writing this blog. My computer worked all fine until I start writing about "I actually have an image when I was watching the video." Then it just died and never woke up again. I know this is extremely superstitious, but think in my shoe, maybe you will know why I am thinking like this. And I am actually writing it now using my cousin's laptop.