Clash

I have been thinking, our band seems to be divided into many small groups. That doesn't mean each of the groups were not liking each others, in fact, it still feels like a big family between the groups. Maybe just for me, I feel that is really weird that people can divide themselves into groups without feeling isolated from others.

I always feel that I am the one that cannot fit into any group nicely. Maybe because people cannot stand my weird personality in general? Or just that I don't feel comfortable staying in a group like that?

Groups can be of different kind. Groups form because of same previous JC, same section, same course, same other band, same... i don't know... And people can actually be in different group because of different interest.

Since the election, I have been thinking. Groups seem to have great impact on election. Section mates will usually choose the one that in their section, except the case that both nominees are from same section, or that the nominee himself/ herself is not in favour of the section.

And how if different groups' opinions are clashing?

I feel this after the election, when some of the band members wanted to go WMC really much, and some opposed it very very much.

I think is because different mindset. People like me who oppose WMC, I think are just enjoying making music. People who want to go WMC very much, I suppose they want more than just producing music, maybe the result that can prove themselves. I don't know, I just suppose.

Just like myself, I enjoy making music very much. Too much that I cannot even sleep well if I didn't play instruments for a few days. For me, the process of making music is a lot more important, I just like to play instruments - all instruments that I can play, even though I KNOW that my tone on other instruments will disgust people totally.

Then the other people, stick on their own instruments, practise because they want to produce the best sound they could, and try hard to also make sure that others can make sound as good as them. Do get my point wrong, I couldn't agree more that this mindset is a better and more healthy one. Just that, if I am using this mindset, I wouldn't be like how I am now, I wouldn't be practising so many hours, because I just feel like it's so tiring. Yes, too tiring for me. Music is like my life and soul, not my homework that I need to do very well in order to score A+.

Of course I didn't say I don't want good tone. Of course I want good tone. If not why I practise long tone everyday? That isn't fun to me at all. And I know, the other kind of people enjoy making music as well. Just that, we all emphasize on different things. And that's how clashes happen.

Back to WMC. It seems to me (maybe just to me) that although people do have totally different opinion on one thing, they can respect opinions of others more. "Majority wins". But yet, I am waiting to see, how many of the people who actually lost will join the program of the winners.

Do you know why I like to argue ideas that people usually will not agree at all. Because I see things in a different way that others see? I don't know. I just know that, the theory that people all agree, doesn't convincing for me at all. Like the "embouchure" theory. It seems like I am having clashes with other people.

A big clash for me, indeed. Ok, make it this way. If play on any other instruments, I need 2 hours to recover back to my original tone, then fine, I practise more than 3 hours a day, so I got 1 or more hours to improve my tone on my own instrument. I just refuse to not playing other instruments.

But I think they just want me to believe that playing different instruments will bring more harm than good. I think I forgot (or reluctant) to mention that, I am starting believe so (because of feedback from Nick). But what I think is simple, if my tone or tuning get worse when I play other instruments, then practise until get it back.

Somehow I don't understand the clash. Did anyone switched instruments and is actually suffering of declined tone? If yes, how is it? If no, how do you so sure that you tried to convince me so? You want to convince me, I readily accept, but I want prove.

I also think of Zi-xian. He can change for clarinet to flute, from flute to bassoon, from bassoon to piccolo, from piccolo to English horn, then from English horn back to clarinet again. I don't think he can't play any of them well. No one pointed at him (at least I didn't see). Why now seems like everyone is pointing at me? Is it means that you can only play other instrument if you can play both of them well? Then what's the point of practising?

Finally want to quote something from Mr Brown Show - Bound to Fail.

You can't have children because our record shows that your family has a history of poor O-level result. We don't want your offspring to erode the high standard of our education system and bring down our national average.