journey

I was always told, to do whatever I feel happy to do.

But those I want to do are always very costly.

I bought a flute in year 2005, thought that flute will be my instrument for my life. But after I was exposed to so many kind of instruments in NUSWS, I felt totally different. The feeling is like suddenly realise that someone you have loved for many years is not really the one you love.

Yes, the final instrument that I found I love is English Horn. But, at that time, I didn't have chance to play.

My chance came when I travelled to Italy with NUSWS. On the night we went back to Besana from Venice, I told Mr Tan that I was thinking to change to oboe. He said, "Why not? Just go." I think that changed my world.

So I started learning oboe, using the reeds Jinyang gave me. I can blame the condition of the reeds, but my sound never get too good. But I still played flute for Da Capo.

After Da Capo, I requested to play English Horn. So I get an English Horn reed, and life just gets better. But reeds can't last long. Those who tell you that oboe reeds can last long, must be those who practise very few. For me, who played it more than two hours everyday after Da Capo, I just can feel that the reed is getting thinner and thinner everyday. Farid told me that no use to keep it for concert, so I just keep playing (half an hour a day after long study).

Today the reed just went so thin that I felt my tone disgusting. Siao Ming, who first time heard I play English horn, said really not good.

I started to think, I want to learn how to make reeds. Farid said usually only very good player will start learning how to make a reed, because only then they can know how the reeds should sound like. For me, I will rather start learning how to make reeds once start learning oboe, so that can understand the reeds more.

I tried to convince Farid that learning how to make reeds is very good for improving tone. Firstly, as you are making a reed, you will need to try the reed until you feel that it is suitable for you, and in that sense you can really try a lot of variations of reeds, so you can know how to play different reeds. And also, when you can make the reeds really suitable for you, it will be a lot faster for learning how to improve tone.

Farid agreed to me. But he said he will not go learn, because "too old, I don't think I will continue playing oboe after NUS."

Of course I agree that only good players can make good reeds, but, even for a bad player for me, I think I can learn faster by making reeds myself. Mind it, I don't have much time left.

And for the reason I keep talking here and do nothing, is still because of the cost. The tools, the raw cane, the whatever else needed. Even the tutor is so far away, and I didn't have the time to go visit him.

Oboe and cor anglais are not instruments for poor people like me.